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    Endless Winter

    By    

    December 13, 2016

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    Your fearless columnist busted true Yule balls over the past several weeks, virtually scouring this whole world asking that age-old musical question…

    Why would YOU rather be listening to The Beach Boys this Christmas ??

     

    “Because I live in Syracuse, and it’s gonna fucking snow until July. I’d rather be surfing!”

    (Carl Cafarelli of This Is Rock n Roll Radio)

     

    “Because two of my favorite bands, The Dukes of Stratosphear and The Pretty Things, have absorbed Beach Boy influences into their music.”

    (Tina Max, Noise Magazine)

     

    “Because KISS didn’t use any sleigh bells on their new release.”

    (Pat Meusel, Sony Music Nashville)

     

    “Because I like them a whole lot better than eggnog!”

    (International Pop Overthrower David Bash)

     

    “Because they alone could sing:

    Mele Kaliki Maka, is “Merry Christmas” is Island talk-a

    …and have it make perfect musical sense.”

    Hang Ten, (Domenic Priore, author of “Look! Listen! Vibrate! SMILE!”)

     

    “Cuz they’re beechin !!!!!!!!!!”

    (Phil Kaufman, “Road Mangler Deluxe”)

     

    “How come I have to listen to the Beach Boys at Christmas?”

    (The Artist Currently Known As DAZA)

     

    “i’d rather listen to dick dale.”

    (Dick Dale, King of the Surf Guitar)

     

    I’d rather listen to the Beach Boys!”

    (Cheepskate Shane Faubert)

     

    “Because it’s a lot better than listening to Marilyn Manson.”

    (Queens notable Walter Ocner)

     

    “Because the Kenny Rogers Christmas album makes me want to buy a machine gun. And that’s not as good a feeling as “Little Saint Nick” or “Do It Again.”

    (David Ribyat, former Tennessee Tuxedo)

     

    “I can play along with them on my piano inside the giant sandbox.”

    (Elizabeth Walsh, also ex-TN Tux)

    “The reason I would rather listen to the Beach Boys this Christmas is because it beats hearing that crappy muzak they play in the malls. By far, I should add!
    And they’re tons better than Kenny G too.”

    (Beverly Paterson of Twist And Shake Magazine)

     

    “Waves, waves, and …oh yeah: Waves!”

    (Mick Hargreaves, Long Island surfer boy)

     

    “Listening to the Beach Boys is less likely to get me arrested and/or incarcerated than traditional seasonal activities.”

    (Tom Jacoby of Time For A Quick One, the FAST, RELIABLE Courier)

     

    “Because their unreleased 1970s Christmas album set a standard of excellence within the genre, alongside Christmas efforts by the Kingston Trio, Temptations and Phil Spector.”

    (Mike McDowell, Blitz Magazine)

     

    “I’d rather be listening to the Beach Boys this Christmas because there is no other feasible alternative to get closer to heaven.”

    (Kerneels Breytenbach, General Manager, Human & Rousseau Publishers, Cape Town, South Africa)

     

    “I’ll be listening to the Beach Boys this Christmas because every year the sound of Phil Spector’s voice on A Christmas Gift For You messes me up so badly that I need a dose of close harmony to save the day.”

    (John J. Pinto of The Pig Paper)

     

    “The only reason I would rather listen to the Beach Boys this Christmas would be if I lived in Kentucky.”

    (the ever-cryptic Don Preston, original Mother of Invention)

     

    “Few would argue that along with Elvis’ Christmas Album and Phil Spector’s A Christmas Gift For You, The Beach Boys’ Christmas album is certainly one of the quintessential holiday albums of the rock era. On that album you not only get five great original – and timeless – Brian Wilson melodies, but a rare glimpse at an era when the “down to Earth” Beach Boys Sound dominated the music charts.

    I can still picture Brian, in his bright shiny ’64 Grand Prix, cruising down Hawthorne Boulevard and pulling into the Foster’s Freeze while he hums an idea for a new song. That song, “Little Saint Nick,” would fascinate us through the 1963 Christmas season, and continues to delight us all these years later.”

    (Fred Vail, former manager, and first concert producer, of The Beach Boys)

     

    “Because their music represents all the hopes and companionship of the Festive Season, and because Brian and the group’s vocals are some of the best ever recorded.”

    (Andrew Gladwin, actuary and part-time Beach Boy website owner, Harare, Zimbabwe)

     

    “Couldn’t have said it better myself! Merry Christmas, everybody!

    (Santa Pig)


    December 13, 2016